zaterdag, maart 04, 2006

SO CAN IT NO LONGER

Taal. Het is me wat.
Elsbabbel hoort dagelijks sappige versprekingen en uitdrukkingen op haar werk.
Vanuit de wachtzaal heeft ze al het volgende opgevangen :
- Vrouw : "Voe wuk komme gie noa den dokteur ?"
- Man : "Ewel, ik zie den uul nie mjè deur 't gootegat".
- Vrouw : "Ahja, en voe wukken dokteur ziejgie an 't wachten ?"
- Man : "Voe dokteur String" (Verstrynge)

Onze noorderburen bakken ze echter nog bruiner in 't Engels.
Maarten Rijkens, grote pief bij Heineken, werkte jarenlang in Canada, de VS en Azië.
Hij noteerde het schitterende Engels dat tijdens vergaderingen en werklunches uit de monden ontsproot van collega's, diplomaten en zelfs regeringsleden. Is me what !

Hieronder een bloemlezing :

- I DO NOT WANT TO FALL WITH THE DOOR IN HOUSE
- WE LOOK FURTHER THAN OUR NOSE
- I ALWAYS GET MY SIN
- I AM THE FIRST WOMAN STATE SECRETARY AND I'M HAVING MY FIRST PERIOD
- I FOCK HORSES
- I WAS VERY FOCUSSED ON MY FUCK (bedoelde 'vak')
- WHY IS HE ON RICE ? (Waarom is hij op reis)
- WE ARE THERE BUSY WITH
- LET ME BRING MORE CLEARING IN THE MATTER
- WE STILL HAVE TO SUCK ONE LID (we moeten nog een lid zoeken)
- I HATE YOU ALL HEARTELY WELCOME
- I WISH YOU A PLEASANT PERIOD
- WE WILL GO OVER TO THE ORDER OF THE DAY
- COULD YOU PLEASE DEAL OUT THE STAPLE
- HOW DO YOU DO AND HOW DO YOU DO YOUR WIFE ?
- HE IS THE CIGAR
- WE DO NOT PICK IT
- THAT'S THE EGG OF COLUMBUS
- ARE WE ON GLAD ICE ?
- CAN WE HAVE A LITTLE UNDER US ?
- ALL MADNESS ON A SMALL STICK
- WE SHOULD STOP NAVEL STARING
- BUCK! (Bukken)
- MAY I THANK YOUR COCK FOR THE LOVELY DINNER
- I THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART AND ALSO FROM MY WIFE'S BOTTOM
- DO THESE BOTTLES HAVE STATION MONEY ?
- HE IS TOTALLY IN THE WAR
- I LEAVE IT BY THIS
- I TAKE OF MY PET FOR YOU
- GO YOUR GANG

'I always get my sin'
Maarten H.Rijkens

Meer van dattum vind je ook bij de Japanners : http://www.engrish.com/faq.php

3 opmerkingen:

de bevers zei

en in Pittem zeggen ze

HEAR, SEE and FEEL

Anoniem zei

Eén van die gasten is William Schudspier.
Lees maar één van zijn dichtoefeningen:

Johnny saw once prumpies hanging
Oh! As chicken eggs so groot
It seemed that Johnny would go plucking
While his father 't him forboad.

But as I will be very clever
Then my father sees it not
On this tree so full of prumkes
He will not have it in the mot.

So he clautered in the prumetree
Stack his pockets full of fruit
But he mistrapped on a tackske
And fell down, flack on his snoot.

All the prumes were spice now
And the spice ran out his brook
It dripped softly in his couses
Johnny did not darf to look.

And again he was not lucky
Cause his father came there oan
And he gave him such a ramling
He could fourteen days not goan.

That is how end the silly story
Of little John, the proimenthief
Even, with een lot of goesting
He did it never more upnief.

Anoniem zei

een collega van mij mellde met een uitgesstreken gezicht: there is nobobdy at the office today they are making a bridge.
del uit re